To Date, or Not To Date … That Is The Question

I was texting my bestfriend yesterday, and as women we talk about everything under the sun, but the most awarded topic goes to DATING! With many of my bestfriends we’ve only had a total of two boyfriends thus far in our lives, and some have had a little more but we’re all ultimately feeling our way through life – which means dealing with these MEN(boys).

Everyone wants to talk about how much of a man they are, until they actually have to start acting like one. It baffles me.

Let me first say that this is NOT a post to bash guys, but it is more like a questionnaire mixed with opinions.

It seems as if in today’s generation, the vast majority of guys stray away from the idea of dating. Instead, they “hang out/chill/post up” and want to have all the benefits of a healthy or seemingly healthy relationship without the title. It all happens too quickly. What happened to the first steps, the beginning of dating where you actually got to know one another rather than jumping straight to bed and playing house? You know, when you two could actually be friends. I’ve come to the conclusion that, dating has lost its substance.

What’s the deal with pleasing for “the chase” and once you catch me you reel me in like a fish on a line and throw yourself out?! You know how everything is oh so beautiful and lovely in the beginning, and just when you think things are about to transfer into next steps, then BAM he’s gone! He either pulls away, friendzones you, or even starts “dating” someone new. It seems as if guys are just okay with this way of life.  Not only is it acceptable in their minds, it’s routine.

What happened to growing with someone? We don’t have to be writing our vows once we both decide that we really like each other. Instead, we should try and make it worthwhile to invest in one another. Let me teach you how to cook, and you show me how to calculate my finances. Better yet teach me how to change my own oil so I don’t have to depend on you!

Why is it so hard to just have ONE woman?  That’s what they all claim they want in the long run, but don’t seize the opportunity when they have a good one right in their face.

Are we as women intimidating? Should we too have a roster of men to choose from daily? Hmm, today I’ll call Kenneth so he can take me to the movies, and I’ll text Malcolm tonight so we can go ice-skating tomorrow. Although in the Dating World, I believe it’s alright to have three men in heavy rotation to see what you like and don’t like, and ultimately you can weed em’ out until you have your top pick. With men on the other hand, they will have a good ten women in the line up. Someone please tell me why?!

I personally would like for a man to actually ask me on a real date for once. Where we both dress up nice, go to dinner and then do something drastically spontaneous. I don’t think that’s asking for much, but sadly this generation is lost. No one wants to put in the extra effort unless it comes with a reward. We should do things out of the goodness of our hearts, because we want to put a smile on the other person’s face, or make their day.

There are some guys who still plan things out and I’m fortunate enough to say I’ve experienced this twice but seriously we’re in our twenties, the movie “dates” should be a thing of the past. Get creative and try something new that’ll blow your dates mind.

So I feel like I went on a long tangent lol, but I had to get it off my chest. Is it worth it to date in your twenties, or should you wait until you’re nearing thirty?

If any males are reading, please help a sista out and give some answers. I’ve had this talk with my brother-in-law, and even my guy friends before but I just feel like it’s all an excuse.

I’ll put my disclaimer out there that I haven’t given up hope (#JesusIsBAE, & I’m a hopeless romantic) but I would like to know the logic behind it all.

bisous, Bree ❤



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