I’ve been working on this post for a while now, and one little class discussion took this over the edge for me. My heart breaks to see so many people (girls/women especially) constantly use negative self-talk, not love themselves unconditionally, and overall ignore the love that comes from within. In my Human Sexuality class my professor challenged everyone to get ‘Out of Their Comfort Zone’ and explore something they’ve never done before, totally alone. This varied from attending cultural festivals, interacting with people you wouldn’t normally speak to, attending a church/temple and a range of other activities. Last Tuesday, we had the chance to sit at the front of the class to share our experiences and how the assignment made us feel. One of my classmates shared about her experience sitting at a coffee shop for 30 minutes after a workout, without having showered, no cellphone, no friends – nothing. Of course one would feel self-conscious under such circumstances. In an effort to make a long story short, she spent 30 minutes bashing herself with negative self-talk. She expressed that brought her journal to document how she was feeling in that moment. In her journal she wrote that she was stupid for coming, she was an idiot for sitting in the employee section (mistakenly), and everyone probably was looking at her like she was weird.
TIME OUT – disclaimer – this girl is the most talkative, extroverted introvert I think I’ve ever met. She participates in class, adds great insight to group discussions, and is really smart! You would think she’d have ALL the confidence in the world right?
Come to find out, the further into her sharing the more I could understand why she felt that way. She told us that her undergrad years weren’t so pleasant. At her university she was the ‘outcast’ because all the girls around her were rich, blonde, and pretty. My classmate is a pretty girl – but she has black hair, kinda sporty and pretty cool. We’ve all been the ‘outcast’ at some point in our lives (whether you want to admit it or not).
After she finished sharing, classmates gave positive feedback on how well spoken she is, outgoing, confident – I could go on. Everyone offered her words of advice to combat her issue, encouragement on how to move forward, and we applauded her for sharing and taking steps to diminish negative self-talk.
Words can cut deep and can affect your entire mood;
Therefore we should constantly try to avoid such talk amongst ourselves and even with others.
Bottom line – as young women we have to love ourselves unconditionally. We must get up in the morning everyday (even on our worst days) and tell ourselves “Queen, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are successful!”
This clip always brightens my day – check it out!
Coming soon – I would like to share mini testimonies and segments of friends and I affirming our #selfloveatitsfinest on my blog, IG and other social media, so be on the lookout for it 🙂