Post-Surgery: I’m A Soldier (pronounced – SOULjaa)

It has been approximately three months since I had my fourth and very last open-heart surgery. The last time I had surgery was at ten years old, having to undergo yet another surgery I honestly wasn’t scared because it had become routine for me. I even often refer to the hospital/doctor’s office as my second home. The real issue here was that this time was very different from the rest – reason being was that the times in the past I was a child (either in infancy or elementary years). Yet this time around I was an adult – meaning everyone’s calling me and looking to me for answers. Yes, my mother was still by my side every step of the way, but the ball was entirely in my court now. I scheduled my doctors appoints, pre-ops, post-ops, infusions, x-rays – I did it ALL! It was so weird having to do these things on my mom, because I was used to my mom taking care of everything. This meant I had to really become knowledgeable with specific terminology, instructions, and the way everything worked. Surprisingly, I knew WAY more about my condition and my heart than I gave myself credit for *Pats Self on the Back*

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Lullabies

Moments when you can’t sleep
Due to the sounds of your heartbeat
Radiating through your sheets …
A ticking, a clicking, an unfamiliar beat
Who knew that this would become my new lullaby
No longer have to plug in an IPod or create soft pitter patters on the belly of the wall;

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