I have so much to be thankful for this year. This time last year, on December 1, 2014 I was preparing for a life changing final fourth open heart surgery. The timing was only something that was orchestrated by God. I found out that something was a little off in terms of the lining of the valves in my heart back in May. Literally, a week before graduation my cardiologist wanted to investigate the matter. A week after returning from Vegas on a Memorial Day weekend trip with my girls, I was in the hospital preparing for a quick exploratory procedure to check out what was really going on inside my body. Not only were the walls narrowing, but the rhythm of my heartbeat was off (atrial flutter). I was a little bummed out, but used to it. Not afraid because this has been my life ever since I popped out the womb. I thought everything was going great and I’d never have to undergo another surgery. Little did I know, that wasn’t apart of the plan.
It has been approximately three months since I had my fourth and very last open-heart surgery. The last time I had surgery was at ten years old, having to undergo yet another surgery I honestly wasn’t scared because it had become routine for me. I even often refer to the hospital/doctor’s office as my second home. The real issue here was that this time was very different from the rest – reason being was that the times in the past I was a child (either in infancy or elementary years). Yet this time around I was an adult – meaning everyone’s calling me and looking to me for answers. Yes, my mother was still by my side every step of the way, but the ball was entirely in my court now. I scheduled my doctors appoints, pre-ops, post-ops, infusions, x-rays – I did it ALL! It was so weird having to do these things on my mom, because I was used to my mom taking care of everything. This meant I had to really become knowledgeable with specific terminology, instructions, and the way everything worked. Surprisingly, I knew WAY more about my condition and my heart than I gave myself credit for *Pats Self on the Back*
Moments when you can’t sleep
Due to the sounds of your heartbeat
Radiating through your sheets …
A ticking, a clicking, an unfamiliar beat
Who knew that this would become my new lullaby
No longer have to plug in an IPod or create soft pitter patters on the belly of the wall;