I have so much to be thankful for this year. This time last year, on December 1, 2014 I was preparing for a life changing final fourth open heart surgery. The timing was only something that was orchestrated by God. I found out that something was a little off in terms of the lining of the valves in my heart back in May. Literally, a week before graduation my cardiologist wanted to investigate the matter. A week after returning from Vegas on a Memorial Day weekend trip with my girls, I was in the hospital preparing for a quick exploratory procedure to check out what was really going on inside my body. Not only were the walls narrowing, but the rhythm of my heartbeat was off (atrial flutter). I was a little bummed out, but used to it. Not afraid because this has been my life ever since I popped out the womb. I thought everything was going great and I’d never have to undergo another surgery. Little did I know, that wasn’t apart of the plan.
Fast forward to the day of surgery. Everything went smoothly, but the aftermath of the recovery was something crucial! Through it all, I thanked God. I thanked Him for choosing me as a SOULjaa graced with strength and humility to endure such experiences that I have in my 24 years here on this Earth. Choosing me with this life and giving me the right mind and spirit to handle it.
This Thanksgiving I spent the weekend in New Orleans with my girls for the Bayou Classic. My family and the girls had “Thanksgiving Eve” as my niece would call it lol the day before. It was all of our first dinners away from home and the first time we as the youngins hosted dinner at our house. Dinner is normally at my Grans, but I believe it’s time for us to begin learning how to take over. Next year, I’d like to learn how to make the turkey, greens, and yeast rolls from scratch. Anywho, when we arrived in NOLA we spent the holiday with old and new friends. It’s such an exciting adventure being young. The opportunities, the struggles, the love, the lessons, being carefree, but ultimately taking life by the horns and living in the moment – being present one day at a time.
I can’t thank God enough! I thank God for giving me a mommy that’s so strong, one who trusts Him through everything. I thank God for my family – my Gran and sister who took care of me when my mom needed a break, my niece for keeping a smile on my face, my host of friends and extended family for visiting me, calling/texting, attending to my needs while in the hospital and out, but most of all for everyone’s prayers! I am truly blessed!
Now I have a sound connected to the scar
Instead of people asking “Oh what’s that?” “What happened to your chest?”
Now it’s “What’s that noise?”
The clicking and ticking mimicking the sound of a watch, radiate through my chest
My valve is the metronome
My heart is the catch
Following every beat, ever so softly
Swiftly with each interchanging tick
No longer able to hide embarrassment, nervousness, tiredness and more
The sound gives way and leads attention towards me
Even before I speak my name
With each passing day its novelty is something to get used to
It seems to get louder during the still of the night
Yet I’m reminded that I’m alive
For the rest of my life, I’ll have my own personal lullaby
Perhaps my future children will hear it too
What a way to be connected
What a way to live life
God’s miracle
Life – a God given right
❤
Thee Heart of The Matter 