Have you ever had a burning desire in your heart? No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, the gut wrenching feeling wouldn’t leave.
I believe we all have.
I’ve been writing ever since I could remember. From writing daily in my journal at the tender age of 8, to writing short stories, haikus, and poems in middle school, to creating even more elaborate stories that would circulate through classrooms in high school and eventually landed on fan fiction websites, to journaling in high school and beyond, to keeping numerous blogs in my early 20s – writing is my solace. It’s the easiest way for me to communicate my feelings, when I can’t utter the words aloud. It’s my creative outlet.
This blogging journey hasn’t been easy to say the least. I was doing extremely well with being consistent during my recovery from my fifth and final open-heart surgery. It was the spring of 2015 when I launched my blog Thee Heart of The Matter. Back then I didn’t feel the exact pressures that I feel now. Though I was aware of having an audience, gaining followers, and maintaining engagement with my audience … it wasn’t my main concern. Continue reading “Trusting The Journey”
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
I have entered yet another transitional season of my life. This one seems extremely different than the first time around. I completed my graduate program in May and earned an MA in Counseling emphasis on Mental Health. Though I am extremely proud of my accomplishments, I am constantly asking: Where did the time go? I was literally in Kindergarten yesterday and now I’m officially out here in the world. Everything seems to be happening so fast. I have no idea what I’m doing and where I’ll end up next. Yet, that is the very question that I keep hearing now that I have graduated.
“So what do you want to do now?
“Are you going for your doctorate?”
“Do you have a job lined up?”
“Where are you going to live?”
Response in my head/Quote of the season: “I’m just tryna get my life together!”
Of course I give them a smile and say my spiel about going for my license, getting an intern number, and looking for a PAID position. All of which definitely won’t happen overnight. It’s a PROCESS!
On the other hand, I have also entered the season of my life where weddings, house housewarmings, and baby showers are main events.
You couldn’t tell me at sixteen that I wouldn’t be married to a chocolate King at 25 with my Benz, bomb two-story house, and Teacup Yorkie safely tucked away in my purse.
They say if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Continue reading “The Navigation of Seasons”
.. time; 1:55 PM.
.. feeling; a bit overwhelmed, discouraged, and tired.
.. missing; living in the Playa Del Oro apartments with my roomie Amanda and our wine nights, sitting on the couch talking about life.
.. should be doing; trying to get my life in order – that entails many things … job apps, organizing my space here, and some. I marked off some things on my To-Do List so I guess I’m cool, for now.
..affirmation for the week: Be Patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to get to the BEST!
.. listening to; Freudian – Daniel Caesar is amazing! The album has been on REPEAT!
.. reading; the Bible – 1 Samuel.
Also, I’ve been trying to find the PDF for Emily McKnight’s book, “The Don’t Before I Do”. I read the sample this past week during my flight to Seattle and fell in love!
.. watching; I binge watched The Handmaid’s Tale last week and now I’m sad that I have to wait until Season 2 comes around.
Duh, I’m watching Insecure (because Issa Rae is hilarious and Jay Ellis is BAE in real life… as for Lawrence… he’s a NO for me dawg), Being Mary Jane, Greenleaf and a whole list of others lol
.. enjoying; the down time. I’m always on the go and have a million things on my mind at all times. I feel like I have 10-15 tabs open daily haha.
Continue reading “Actuellement …| August 28th”
.. time; 11:06 AM
.. feeling; a bit sleepy, but mainly hungry.
.. missing; my bed.
.. wishing; for a day off somewhere in the near future. #NoDaysOffLikeWale
.. should be doing; preparing for my next session and this group mediation within the next hour.
.. thinking: on how good my lunch is about to be… I’m starving!
..talking to: Lila – client talk about our kiddos.
..affirmation for the week: You are Worthy Of ❤
..plotting: my next adventure;
.. listening to; at this very moment I’m listening to Part Of Me by Musiq Soulchild.
Continue reading “Actuellement …| February 22nd”
To be treated like a Queen is every girls dream. To be heard, to be seen, to be clothed in grace, to be loved – effortlessly.
I will not be sad on this day, for I have experienced Valentine’s Day, each and every day for the past year. I have been showered with love, gifts, hugs, kisses, prayers, encouragement, and unwavering support.
I will not be jealous on this day, as I sit back and watch others celebrate their love. I’ll reflect on a love that I experienced not too long ago. I will bask in the beauty of flowers received with my girlfriends. I will help them pick out the perfect outfits for their dates. I will wait by my phone to listen to their stories. I too, will smile in glee.
Continue reading “Valentines Day, 365”
.. time; 12:05 PM.
.. feeling; burnt out. Senioritis is REAL. And this is my second time around, so it’s even worse than the first time.
.. missing; my peace of mind, hugs, and hearty laughs (although I had a really really good laugh about two weeks ago, I was legit in tears).
.. wishing; everyone well this week/weekend. Self-Care is necessary!
.. should be doing; preparing interventions for my sessions after lunch. I love my kids. I haven’t seen them in two days. They’re gonna be all up in my face asking questions lol “Why weren’t you here yesterday Ms. Bree?”
.. thinking: of a master plan! …nah my journal knows
..talking to: Bri about babies and getting married, per usual lol
..affirmation for the week: be still, be calm. It’s going to be okay. God I still trust you!
..plotting: my next adventure; I need a getaway like yesterday.
Continue reading “Actuellement .. (That Means Currently) | February 10th”
Another one checked off the list …
I can honestly say that I’m extremely proud of myself. I’m proud of the woman that I have become and I can only thank God and my mom for molding me into this being.
I will turn 25 next month. My how time flies! I was just graduating from high school yesterday lol. The closer I get to 25 I’m realizing how truly powerful it is to write out your goals and see them flourish right before your eyes. The goals that I’ve created for myself this year have been marked off left and right. I was inducted into an honors society, finished my course work for my grad program, save(ing) money for life after grad school, #YOC, spending time with family/friends, writing, and lastly my favorite of them all – traveling.
I’m fortunate that I can just get up and go whenever I want.
I have no children to think of, just school, saving money, and minor bills to pay.
Therefore, I decided to challenge myself to come up with a list of 25 things I want to complete before my 25th birthday. I will document my journey along the way!
Here’s my list:
Continue reading “Gracefully, Stepping Into 25”
I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.
That’s what I’ve been telling myself ALL summer to keep me motivated. Cause the burn out is REAL!
Initially when I started graduate school I knew I’d be finished in two years.
Shortly after my first semester, I learned that the track (Multiculturalism & Social Justice) I originally signed up for was actually not a track. Instead it was a motto embedded within the foundation of the program and I was forced to now choose another track – Guidance Counseling, School Counseling, or Mental Health.
Long story short – here I am continuing my journey. I will be starting my third and final year of graduate school tomorrow night…with hopes of attaining my license in Counseling (#MentalHealth; #JourneytoLPCC).
You know you’re fed up and ready to graduate when you have a countdown system on your phone. Continue reading “YEAR TROIS (THE FINALE)”
There comes a time in your life when you have to start making your own decisions. You have to be confident in them, confident that you’re capable of making logical decisions and overall utilizing your own discernment.
Coming from a late night, I boarded my solo flight, took my seat and began to reflect on my capability of making decisions and the recent disagreement I had with my mom.
Last year I was inspired and encouraged by one of my professors to apply for Alternative Breaks (AB). AB is a program provided by LMU where they select a group of students to travel to various counties/countries in hopes of fighting one common goal — social justice. I quickly became interested and applied to become a group leader for the Mental Health trip. My good friend Lila and I applied, had our interviews and waited for the verdict. We knew that there could only be one leader, but we promised each other that we’d still participate no matter who got the position. Fast-forward a couple of months later many things were going on in the world from the continuous Police brutality resulting in the killings of my people, to terrorist attacks in my beloved Paris, Brussels, and beyond (…sadly things are still occurring).
Continue reading “When The Bird Leaves The Nest”
The older I’ve become, the longer My List has grown. If you don’t know what LIST I’m referring to, I’ll give you a quick example:
It’s the list we all create at age 16 where you plan out your entire life – down to the name of your unborn daughter, the future dog, honeymoon destination, and what type of car you’re going to drive.
Or even better – you played MASH which predicted your whole life all on one sheet of paper. No one couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to marry Morris Chestnut, Lance Gross, Dreux Frederic (Lil Fizz from B2K), and Patrick Breeding (of B5) all at the same time lol
The list that never comes true – yet it takes you on a whirlwind of ups, downs, doors shut in your face, as new ones are prepared and opened when you’re ready to receive what’s behind it.
Continue reading “The List”