Trusting The Journey

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Have you ever had a burning desire in your heart? No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, the gut wrenching feeling wouldn’t leave.

I believe we all have.

I’ve been writing ever since I could remember. From writing daily in my journal at the tender age of 8, to writing short stories, haikus, and poems in middle school, to creating even more elaborate stories that would circulate through classrooms in high school and eventually landed on fan fiction websites, to journaling in high school and beyond, to keeping numerous blogs in my early 20s – writing is my solace. It’s the easiest way for me to communicate my feelings, when I can’t utter the words aloud. It’s my creative outlet.

This blogging journey hasn’t been easy to say the least. I was doing extremely well with being consistent during my recovery from my fifth and final open-heart surgery. It was the spring of 2015 when I launched my blog Thee Heart of The Matter. Back then I didn’t feel the exact pressures that I feel now. Though I was aware of having an audience, gaining followers, and maintaining engagement with my audience … it wasn’t my main concern.

During my last year of grad school (2017), my focus was on finishing my program amongst combatting other things that were going on in my personal life. I felt like I was in a two-year stint of writers block – and it killed me. Towards the end of 2018, I committed to revamping my website (investing by upgrading my hosts and spending a pretty little penny), creating the IG to market my work, scheduling monthly photo-shoots, and creating a schedule for pushing out content. Even with the proper planning, I was still not satisfied. In fact, I was discouraged.

I wondered if anyone read my blog posts. I racked my brain endlessly and continued to suffer from major writers block. Truthfully, I was uninspired. I asked: How do you make a name for yourself in a field that’s oversaturated? Everyone’s blogging about lifestyle, self-care, mental health, travel, food, – EVERYTHING. How can I stand out against the crowd?

I questioned the process, but didn’t trust the journey.

With lots of prayer, encouraging talks with my sister circle, gentle reminders from strangers… I continued to press on. This past weekend my cousin and I had a long talk where she shared a dream she recently had. In her dream she told someone to HAVE FAITH and she said it with conviction. As I shared with her my interpretation of the dream, it boiled down to me believing that she was speaking to herself. She needed to tell herself to HAVE FAITH in not only her dreams, but situations within her life as well. This reminded me to HAVE FAITH in myself as well.

I truly believe that when God places a dream within your heart, you can’t ignore it and certainly can’t allow fear, self-doubt, or comparison get in the way.

Now that the New Year has begun and we set our intentions and goals, I’m here to remind you to HAVE FAITH and trust the journey. Things might not happen for you overnight, but a little faith goes a mighty long way. Give yourself grace and show the world what you have to offer! I promise you won’t be disappointed!

May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Psalm 20:4

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